You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
wow bdsm is so cute
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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