just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
