if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Randomize
