I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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