My brain says no but my pants say off.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
