and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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