i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
