She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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