Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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