I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
