Only a mothe r could love this liver
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
