It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.