And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
