come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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