I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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