Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
