somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
MIDGETS
????
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize