i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
