Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
how does that bad decision feel?
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