Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
