Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
