I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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