Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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