he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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