after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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