8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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