well you can't waste a boner
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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