So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
kristin has been a bad kristin
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
We are all done wearing pants today
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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