summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
