C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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