I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
