Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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