Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
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