and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
