my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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