I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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