I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
BRING THE BAGELS
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
