if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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