look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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