Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
