i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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