I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
