I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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