I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
the day after is always just damage control
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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