Are we in a gay sports bar?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
