he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
