How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
