Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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