So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
