I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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