I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Dick very happy bro
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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