is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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