Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
