she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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