I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Two words: blizzard sex
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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