Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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