okay pat passed out under dana's car
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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