not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
