i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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