the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
