her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
