Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
