Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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