I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
