New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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