Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Buhtt sex?
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
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