he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
