just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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