His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
