you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
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