I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
