Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
bring money and cleavage
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
