The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
He has the fingertips of a God
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